Nearly 50 percent of married couples get divorced. A variety of factors contribute to this overwhelming rate, but just one factor can help that rate decline: romance. Romance in a marriage takes communication, concentrated attention and selflessness, all things that can contribute to divorce when taken for granted. Couples can heat up their marriage by getting romantic in simple ways every day, in turn moving them further and further from the possibility of divorce.
What You Need
- Bar soap
- Index cards
Monday: Computer Love
Go into the settings of your spouse’s computer, and change the desktop image to a love message. You might write, “Hey Babe! Life with you makes it worth living.” When she starts up the computer, your surprise message will display.
1. Open up a computer application such as “Paint” or “Word,” and choose a font, color and size.
2. Type your message, and save it as a JPEG, which saves it as a photo image. Pay attention to where you’re saving it.
3. Close the application, and go to the file where you saved it. Right-click the photo, and select “Set as Desktop Background.” If you don’t see that option, go to your control panel and choose “Appearance and Themes,” then “Display,” which will ask you to select a file from your computer. Click “Apply” and “Save” before leaving the page.
4. Click the “x” button at the top of any open windows—save any work—so you can see the desktop. It will display the message. Shut the computer down so when your spouse starts the computer, the love message will appear.
Tuesday: Mirror Messages
Write a romantic love message on the bathroom mirror, the night before, to help start their morning with expressed love.
1. Dab the tip of your finger under the sink spout and rub the same fingertip onto a bar of soap.
2. Use your fingertip to write a message that might say, “Good Morning to the love of my life! I love waking up with you every day, and going to bed with you every night.” You might have to repeat Step 1 if your message doesn’t show clearly on the mirror.
Wednesday: Journal Journeys
1. Enter separate entries about your spouse into a journal a few days in advance.
2. Express a different admiration for each entry. For example, you might tell your spouse why you love his smile for one entry, and you might explain your love for their support in another.
3. Give the journal to your spouse, and ask him to read each entry, then respond. This can be the beginning of your journaling experience with each other.
Thursday: Romance Search
1. Write down five questions on index cards for your spouse to answer. Each question should lead your spouse on the search for the next question. For example, the first question might ask, “What side of the bed do you love to lay your head the most?” Your spouse then goes to look under the pillow on that side, where another question awaits.
2. Place all your index card questions in the appropriate places.
3. Leave a special gift with the fifth index card question as a romantic closer to the search. For example, you might leave two tickets to a show or game your spouse has wanted to see, or a gift card for a visit to her favorite place.
Friday: Loving Eyes
1. Set aside 15 minutes to look into each other’s eyes, and play a sensual song about monogamous love.
2. Sit on the floor facing your spouse. Hold hands without talking; just stare.
3. Talk afterward about what you felt during the stare—only loving and positive things. This is no time for complaints or problems to arise.
1. Get the children to a trusted babysitter, go in the kitchen and prepare to explore.
2. Put a blindfold on the spouse who’ll do the taste-testing first.
3. Guess what your spouse is feeding you without talking. For example, you might taste something sweet and guess that it’s a piece of a peach.
4. Go back and forth taste-testing until you’re ready to stop. Cuddle on the couch to giggle, laugh and talk about the experience. Make sure the television and all other distractions are off.
Sunday: What Would You Say?
1. Stand in front of each other.
2. Start off asking your spouse a question that has to do with love or a loving gesture. For example, you might say, “What would you say if I told you that you mean more than the world to me?”
3. Allow your spouse to respond beginning with, “I would say.” For example, he might say, “I would say that I love you more than the world, too.”
4. Repeat Steps 2 and 3 for at least 15 minutes.
Editor-In-ChiefZara Hairston is a modern-day renaissance woman who uniquely draws people to the Cross of Christ through teaching, writing and speaking. She holds a bachelor of arts in Journalism from Temple University, and a master of arts in Christian Counseling from Jacksonville Theological Seminary—where she was also ordained. Hairston's organizations include Love-Life, Inc., YourHeartShape, Moms In Christ, BComingMe, Sister Keepers and Arrow Spring Academy. Currently, she resides in the Atlanta area with her husband Anton "Eshon Burgundy" Hairston and their three children.