A mother’s newfound care for her newborn can make it difficult to release control—even to the father. In fact, some fathers feel left out when it comes to the care of a new baby. Because most fathers have compassion for their children, they want opportunities to bond. When dad cannot connect with baby because of mom’s control, he tends to feel rejection. Dad’s transition into a more hands-on paternal role, depends greatly on mom’s release of control.
Make a point to include dad in baby duty as often as possible. For example, you can ask dad to help feed, bathe, or change diapers. This can give him a better understanding of what it takes to care for the baby, and it helps him feel involved. In the end, you ensure that dad’s needs are met and give yourself room to relax.
Let Him Find His Way
Father’s can soothe, pacify, and play with their baby in unique ways. For instance, the vibration of a man’s Adam’s apple soothes an infant. A study published in the Journal of Family Issues even found that a father’s touch develops the baby’s cognition more positively. If you encourage dad in such ways, he can discover his own distinctive parenting style to complement yours. To start, you might encourage dad to place the baby under his chin and have him speak softly when baby gets restless.
A mother’s support can encourage a father to help more. In turn, each parent builds each other up. Find ways to show dad when he does a good job. For example, you might write him a post-it note or a thank you card to let him know you recognize his efforts to help out with late-night feedings or evening baby baths. When you support dad, it can help you release control, and even lead to a more cohesive family environment.
Parenting.com: The Daddy-Baby Connection
Contributer, Moms In Christ
Mica is a University of North Carolina graduate, with concentrated studies in social work. She is a wife and mom of two young children, and resides in the Atlanta area.
Editor-In-ChiefZara Hairston is a modern-day renaissance woman who uniquely draws people to the Cross of Christ through teaching, writing and speaking. She holds a bachelor of arts in Journalism from Temple University, and a master of arts in Christian Counseling from Jacksonville Theological Seminary—where she was also ordained. Hairston's organizations include Love-Life, Inc., YourHeartShape, Moms In Christ, BComingMe, Sister Keepers and Arrow Spring Academy. Currently, she resides in the Atlanta area with her husband Anton "Eshon Burgundy" Hairston and their three children.