If your spouse cheated would you stay? Two-time Grammy-nominated rapper Da’ T.R.U.T.H. and his wife Nicole experienced adultery in their marriage first-hand. Emanuel Lambert, also known as Da’ T.R.U.T.H, blames himself for his infidelity, yet his wife comes across like a modern day superwoman—determined not to let it shake her foundation. Having considered what I would do and knowing adultery is Biblical grounds for divorce, I could not fathom staying married to an unfaithful spouse. That was until the Lambert’s call. I do not condone adultery, but I do think divorce should not always be an automatic response to it.
When He Fell
It is instinct for a rapper to lyricize personal details of their life. Of course the fake gangster-rapper types fabricate their rhymes with made-up life stories, but since Da’ T.RU.T.H. has been called by God to use his lyrics as a ministerial tool, that was not his story. At least until, he says, he became puffed up with pride and self-righteousness four years ago. It only led to a mismatch lifestyle up against his lyrics, because secretly, he was committing adultery while actively ministering music. He didn’t stop the affair right away either, he transparently expressed, “I think that God was very gracious towards me throughout but eventually, once you’ve hardened your heart to every possible means of grace to escape, God in his love and faithfulness exposes your sin.” Caught, exposed and embarrassed, he says, “Metaphorically speaking my life looked like nine-eleven.”
Coming To Himself
Almost all of us know what the 911 tragedy looked like, and the hate expressed towards America’s attacker, so you would think it was over for T.RU.T.H. He says, however, it was in that season of darkness that he really began to understand God’s love because he sensed its overwhelming presence at the height of his sin. He went on to say, “All I could think of was that His kindness really does lead us to repentance, that is what reeled me back.” That’s why he’s embraced the opportunity to realign his life and lyrics in his latest album “The Whole Truth,” in which he describes the heart of God’s redeeming love. He’s expressed his appreciation in the project for his wife Nicole too, who stayed through everything despite her right to file for divorce.
Why She Stayed
Nicole says even though the Bible grants permission to divorce when adultery is the case, she doesn’t believe divorce is ever really the heart of God or what’s necessarily His best since He specializes in repair and reconciliation. She says, “Marriage is a picture of His unconditional love for His church, and so I wasn’t able to walk away because I know that He would never divorce us.” With her mind made up to stick it out, God gave her instructions to begin the healing process. She says,”I had to pray for him as a sister, like this was just my brother off the street who was entangled in sin. Then I had to be a friend, the Bible says a friend loves at all times. Then, as a wife, I had to just keep pouring out my hurt and my pain to Jesus.”
How She Handled the Pain
When Nicole said she prayed and loved T.RU.T.H., but poured out her pain to Jesus, I thought about the fact that God never reminds us of our errors. In doing that, Nicole was actually imitating God, because she kept from reminding T.RU.T.H of his error. If you haven’t yet realized why I called her a modern day superwoman earlier on, this part of the story should do it. It’s when I began to understand the type of mindset that prevented Nicole from rushing to divorce amidst a public rooting for her to leave. At the same time, I considered those who don’t stay in their marriage and cannot bring themselves to extend that kind of grace to their cheating spouse. Right then, as if he knew the question was coming, T.RU.T.H. asked if he could add something. That something led us to talk about those who end up separated or divorced.
When Their Story Isn’t Yours
Truth shared a story about a pastor friend who said that he envied him because his marriage remains dead while T.RU.T.H.’s had been resurrected. Plenty of left-behind spouses feel the same way. For the Lambert’s, three years of healing and counseling have passed. Within that timeframe T.RU.T.H. even surprised Nicole with a vow renewal service aiming to make a new reference point for her, in place of the painful memories. Nicole says their vow renewal was the beginning of the reward and the joy that comes after weeping. More couples end up like the “envious” pastor as opposed to a Lambert-like ending when adultery hits home though.
Believe, Even After Divorce?
While it’s true that the Lambert’s story isn’t as common, still, T.RU.T.H. says, “There’s always a possibility, with God all things are possible. Don’t give up hope believing if you still are not reconciled. Look for God to perform the miracle of reconciliation.” For those who say they can’t stay married because it’ll never be the same after adultery, T.RU.T.H., borrowing from the couple who counseled them through their marital crisis, says, “You’re right. It can be better.” After all, there’s no clause that says divorce or separation changes the fact that God causes all things to work out good for those who love Him, so their future looks better than the past.
The Bottom Line
The Lambert’s story should at least give you four spiritual gems to store in your heart no matter where you are in your love-life, but especially if you’re considering divorce because of adultery: (1) the trap of pride and self righteousness leads to ruin, (2) responding with a God-like perspective speeds any healing process, (3) it’s necessary to consider what would glorify God, then do it and (4) that God will reward sacrificial obedience. Now, having looked at a deeper level of God-love through their eyes, if your spouse (God forbid) ever cheated, would you rush to get a divorce?
An Apology From Emanuel Lambert