When the “Street Runner” video hit YouTube, fans were stirred over more than Eshon Burgundy’s lyrical content. Bold white letters spell out “Ex-Porn Addict” across the T-Shirt worn through the entire video. Many could not believe that a man with such righteous lyrics could have battled with such unrighteousness. We spoke to Eshon about his decision to plaster such a strong statement across his chest.

Love-Life-Inc.com: Eshon, you know a lot of your fans look at what you’re wearing in your videos, so you must have known it would cause attention. Tell us the intent behind your wardrobe choice for the “Street Runner” video.

Eshon Burgundy: It was just to make a bold, out loud statement. A lot of the fans of my music didn’t know pornography was something I had struggled with, so I wanted to inform everybody and let them know I was proclaiming freedom from it in Christ.

Love-Life-Inc.com: Tell us how you realized it was an addiction.

Eshon Burgundy: At first, I didn’t feel like it was an addiction. It’s just like any drug, you start out feeling if you don’t want to do it you don’t have to, but when you realize it’s pulling you away, taking up your time, you feel like it’s something you can’t shake, you know, you recognize it’s an issue and a problem there.

Love-Life-Inc.com: When exactly did you recognize it was a problem?

Eshon Burgundy: When I first got married, my wife found pornography I had put on her laptop and taken with me to work. When she confronted me with it, I mean it was just like, I had portrayed this blameless character and everything that I had hidden throughout my entire life was just all-out exposed, and I felt truly ashamed and caught. Just her response at that moment really made it a big deal to me when before, it wasn’t necessarily a big deal because it was something I felt I had control of and was use to doing my whole life.

Love-Life-Inc.com: What were the events that lead up to that point of recognizing your porn addiction? How did the addiction even start?

Eshon Burgundy: I was about seven years old and I walked in on my step-pop at the time. He was watching it and, I think I was ready to walk back out, and he was like sit down and watch this. So I sat, and I watched it, and I think it was just his attempt at making me a man, and exposing me to that kind of thing. I guess he didn’t know it would have the outstanding effects that it did on my life.

Love-Life-Inc.com: When you say “outstanding effects,” explain what you mean.

Eshon Burgundy: Just not being able to think about nothing but girls. Seven, eight year old boys, they think about toys, and playing, and having fun, but from that point on I was just thinking about girls, and sex. So, that became a part of my ambition, to actually have sex. Like the thing that I had been watching, to actually, physically, do it.

Love-Life-Inc.com: When you had your first physical sexual encounter, did it cure that built up desire?

Eshon Burgundy: I became sexually active at twelve, and once I did, I just wanted more. I had developed this insatiable appetite for not only seeing it, but doing it. So, once I did it, I just wanted to keep doing it.

Love-Life-Inc.com: What was it that helped you combat such a strong addiction? Describe your process going from addict to ex.

Eshon Burgundy: I think you can be an ex anything, as long as your trust and belief is in the Father, and you’re diligently pursuing holiness. For me, once my wife found out, it became something that was on my radar that hadn’t been on my radar, that I had to get rid of. Whenever it showed up, I just had to deny it, and the only way I knew how to, was to pray and ask God to remove it, to remove the desire. It had to be Him to take it from me.

Love-Life-Inc.com: So your wife finds out, it leads you to acknowledge it was an addiction, and then you enter this process of denying the desire. How was your marriage affected while in that process?

Eshon Burgundy: Honestly, I thank God that it didn’t go where it could have. I’ve heard stories that people get addicted to porn and their wife doesn’t turn them on anymore, they’re so deep in the porn their entire world revolves around watching pornography, and some need it to get in the mood with their wife. It didn’t get to that point with me. My wife has always turned me on, I’ve always been physically attracted to my wife, and I’ve never needed it to help me get in the mood for or with her. I know it could have definitely gotten there, and I thank God it was brought to my attention and became an issue before it got out of control in my marriage.

Love-Life-Inc.com: Thank God it didn’t go that far in your marriage. So, what did take place in your marriage, in-between your wife finding out and you becoming an ex porn addict?

Eshon Burgundy: Seeing how much it hurt my wife was the thing that caught me off guard. It was like a smack in the face and I was like man, this thing really is crazy, it is a monster, and I wasn’t looking at it like it was a monster. That’s when I started to take steps to make sure this monster wouldn’t destroy my marriage.

I read a lot about porn addiction that showed me how much of an issue it is. We relocated around that time, and I was able to get away from everything that was familiar. My circle had been people outside the Body, they didn’t have that conviction, so naturally, I didn’t. Being away put me in a position to spend more intimate time with the Father the majority of my day. I started listening to messages, solid preachers, preaching the true Word of God. My Bible was always with me. That time of just going in deep with God is what kept my appetite for pornography at an all-time low. So I believe pressing in with God deeper was the thing that gave me the leverage I needed to beat it.

Love-Life-Inc.com: Many wives leave, separate, or settle on the marriage growing stale over their husband’s porn addiction. How did your wife react after it had settled in that you were a porn addict trying to get to the ex stage?

Eshon Burgundy: My wife made it of an importance to acknowledge the sin, and expressed how it made her feel. How threatened she felt by it. She kept me aware of the severity of it. At the same time, she supported and encouraged me to get through it. Beating me down, telling me how wrong I am, would not have been conducive to helping the situation but more or less hurts it. Her encouragement, support, and even ideas, worked much better.

Love-Life-Inc.com: Encouragement and support after acknowledgement is definitely a winning combination. Is there anything else that helped you?

Eshon Burgundy: Taking steps to have accountability, avoiding certain websites that may have a lot of sexual content, but ultimately, pressing in to the Father, getting closer, spending more time in prayer and devotion with the Lord, is the true cure that sustains you to keep away from porn.

Love-Life-Inc.com: Leave one final message with our readers regarding porn, whether they’re married, single, addicted, or not.

Eshon Burgundy: The reality is, I’m a man who is weak, so I am still occasionally tempted.  However, I understand that wholeness exists in the presence of God. The more time I spend in His presence, the less time I have for superficial things that attempt to fill the voids in my life. Having said that, I encourage people to strive for wholeness in God no matter what their issue is.

Love-Life-Inc.com: Absolutely. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal experience.

Eshon Burgundy: No problem, thank you for sharing it too.

Resources
Zara Hairston Video: Wife Of An Ex-Porn Addict
Eshon Burgundy Online: NFTRY.com
Eshon Burgundy Music: iTunes, Google Play, Amazon Music
Eshon Burgundy Video: YouTube.com

 

Editorial Staff

Editorial Staff

Love-Life-Inc.com

Founded and operated by Zara Hairston since 2012, Love-Life, Inc. provides biblical support for singles and married couples. The editorial staff brings you relative content to enlighten, encourage and strengthen your single or married life in Christ.